faith in faith

it's so lovely to be prayed for. more than that, it is important to me. i need prayers right now.

this is hard to explain, because i am not a praying person myself. i don't have faith, but i have a deep respect for others' faiths. i think they are vital, legitimate paths to truths.

if i could pick one, i might be a quaker; possibly a buddhist, even hare krishna. it's pointless to speculate, really, because i simply don't believe. at my most desperate moments it doesn't occur to me to pray, just in case, like i did as a burgeoning nonbeliever. i know i might be wrong and i might someday change my mind, but for now it's not a choice.

i believe that the only meaning my life or this world has is the meaning that i put into it. i can't be lazy; nothing is sacred without my own effort. if there is greatness, holiness, anything above savagery, it's because some of us have come together and created something.

also, there are no second chances, retributions, or prizes at the end.

in this context i think we all wander ultimately alone. not in a bad way, but totally alone. i am stuck behind an inpenetrable veil between my internal thoughts and the physical world, and under this clumsy guise try to reach out and touch others in the same predicament. (reminds me of on of my favorite bits of lyric: "Half of what I say is meaningless/But I say it just to reach you, Julia.")

i picture all of us: things that make no sense, stumbling around like Leslie N. in the Naked Gun movie wearing an entire body condom to get busy with the female lead. you can hug me but it's only my sense data that i really get from that, telling me i am feeling touched by something external.



but i like being prayed for because it's a contribution from inside that never tries to go out, and is not meant to hit me. it does not get stopped by the sludge between us because it's not trying to travel that distance. a prayer is a communication cast inward, and i like the thought of other little islands like me casting a good thought on my behalf into themselves, which are their own most real things.

t.g.t.a.c.

1. free stuff. makeup, yoga lessons...maybe that's it.
2. i know if i break, there are loved ones available to pick me up and get me through.
3. bullshit dissipates. good, strong people come through stronger and those who aren't become irrelevant.
4. lost those quitting smoking pounds on a diet high in butter pecan ice cream.
5. goodness, random kindness, from strangers and acquaintances.
6. joining the silent world of the sick and the bereaved: their empathy, knowing what to do/say.
7. hair no longer frizzy.
8. visits from loved ones.
9. forced to learn a new version of myself.

a good day

so today, p, z and i went down to the national mall and witnessed, with two million other people, the inauguration of our new president. good for us that barack obama is who we chose to represent and lead us.
we were at the wwii memorial, nearly two miles from where the action was. but we were in a huge crowd that stretched another mile behind us, i'd guess.

mr. obama's speech was amazing. i watched it on the jumbotron, and heard it echoed down the mall with a few second time lapse.
hurray for better times.

here's a picture of aretha franklin singing (from way back where i stood). she almost made me cry, and her hat is sweet.

yuck

i have not yet seen it happen, but now we are all subject to search when riding the metro.

flexyourrights.org, of unknown authority, has put together a list of how to refuse to be searched. the only one i may employ is leaving and coming in another entrance or another stop.

Hurray for voting

The poll workers said that 11,000 Alexandria City residents have already voted absentee. The city only has about 130,000 residents, and about 90,000 registered voters. I think November 4 is going to be over the top.

one for old snaggle-tooth

do you like this poem? i read it every few years, and am not sure. but i keep re-reading it.

(Charles Bukowski, from Love is a Dog from Hell)

one for old snaggle-tooth
I know a womanwho keeps buying puzzles
chinese puzzles
blocks
wires
pieces that finally fit
into some order. she works it out mathematically
she solves all her puzzles
lives down by the sea
puts sugar out for the ants
and believes
ultimatelyin a better world.
her hair is white
she seldom combs it
her teeth are snaggled
and she wears loose shapeles
scoveralls over a body most
women would wish they had.
for many years she irritated me
with what I consider her
eccentricities -like soaking eggshells in water
(to feed the plants so that they'd get calcium).
but finally when I think of her
lifeand compare it to other lives
more dazzling, original
and beautiful
I realize that she has hurt fewer
people than anybody I know
(and by hurt I simply mean hurt).
she has had some terrible times, times when maybe I should have
helped her more
for she is the mother of my only child
and we were once great lovers,
but she has come through
like I said
she has hurt fewer people than
anybody I know, and if you look at it like that,
well, she has created a better world.
she has won.
Frances, this poem is foryou.

i need new music but have no leads. please help.
the problem is that i normally go for folk music from the 60's and 70's, or severely depressing indie rock. but for the last two weeks, all i've wanted to hear is outkast, and i only know/like three of their songs. and generally, the people who i rely on for music recommendations aren't go-to people for anything outkast-esque. and why should they be? what's wrong with me, anyway?


in the spirit of fair exchange, i offer you the only music video that will ever contain this in its subtitles:"...the curious yodeling scat singing of the group's flautist..." (thanks, dad!)

making friends in dc is hard

i think it's just a numbers game. it's 99% this...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/707239142.html

I'd pretend that I was a billboard..I fell in love with a beautiful highway

i just discovered how ultimately perfect the song (Nothing But) Flowers (Talking Heads) is.


it reminds me of this part of slaughterhouse five:
Billy looked at the clock on the gas stove. He had an hour to kill before the saucer came. He went into the living room, swinging the bottle like a dinner bell, turned on the television. He came slightly unstuck in time, saw the late movie backwards, then forwards again. It was a movie about American bombers in the Second World War and the gallant men who flew them. Seen backwards by Billy, the story went like this :American planes, full of holes and wounded men and corpses took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over France, a few German fighter planes flew at them backwards, sucked bullets and shell fragments from some of the planes and crewmen. They did the same for wrecked American bombers on the ground, and those planes flew up backwards to join the formation.The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The containers were stored neatly in racks. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody as good as new.When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anybody ever again.The American fliers turned in their uniforms, became high school kids. And Hitler turned into a baby, Billy Pilgrim supposed. That wasn't in the movie. Billy was extrapolating. Everybody turned into a baby, and all humanity, without exception, conspired biologically to produce two perfect people named Adam and Eve, he supposed.

I'm done with you, Consumerist.com

Consumerist.com made the outrageous, false, and inflammatory claim that irregardless is a real word. Dictionary.com also says this:
"Usage Note: Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so."

BOOOOooo, Consumerist.com

Seeing Things

I've seen some good things in the last few days. One was the Eels, who were great live. I was surprised that they were just two guys.

The second was a Smart car, which someone must have brought over here themselves. I think it's only in Europe right now. It was pretty tiny. And cool.

I almost busted up some cars in the downtown rush hour getting a picture to send to P, who is a tree hugger.

Garrison Keillor, Advice Columnist?

Sep 22, 1998 salon.com

Dear Mr. Blue,
I find I have no desire whatsoever to write, either creatively or otherwise. This makes it hard to meet girls in odd clothing or even to be invited out to events where people say unusual things. How does one break the news without offense to intellectual friends that he has not the slightest impulse to assemble words in long, long strings?
Mr. Black

Mr. Black, you are doing the right thing by refusing the call of literature, but why make a big announcement about it? Look authorly and tell those unusual girls that you're at work on a memoir about your troubled youth in the Sufi commune in Santa Fe and it is much too dark and grievous to discuss at a party, and let it go at that. People will respect your privacy and they will also accord you the blatant adulation that is the reward of every writer. To create a fiction about being a writer is an artistic act, and it is the surest way to meet a thrilling woman whose odd clothing suddenly falls from her tanned and sinuous shoulder as she puts her soft cheek against yours and whispers, "You are so beautiful and I am a fool for you. Meet me on the terrace, under the long, long strings of ivy, and tell me unusual things."

healthcare system in rwanda

i wonder what my friend m.s. thinks about this:

real information

i've been frustrated in following the '08 presidential campaign news because of the overall lack of information offered up by each candidate and the non-issues on which the media seems to focus.
this website is a really good tool for matching you up to the candidate who agrees with you the most on the issues you care about.
first, you give weight to different issues to designate which ones you care about, and to what extent. then, you are given positions on each issue to which you mark how much you agree or disagree.
the output is a % ranking of how much each candidate represents your positions. the ranking is based on those candidates' voting records and positions they have publicly taken on each issue.

enjoy!

And you know what else?

Sorry for the spasm of posts, but this form is the new bullshitting, right?
What do you think about the money fable about the Mexican fisherman? It bothers me. On the other hand, there's a more realistic depiction of Benny the Boatman, and it doesn't sound that cool.
Which one is the sucker? How does one achieve non-suckerdom?

good live music

So first, I think we can all agree that nothing beats great live music. Based on that, I highly recommend seeing Mirah. (sample) P & I went to see her last night, and it was the best show I've been to since Simon & Garfunkel reunited (Major Life Milestone, that concert was).

I guess I don't mean to build her up too much because unmet expectations can ruin an otherwise enjoyable time (Clinic!), but even P was a fanatic by the end.

I'll come right out and say: She was playing with a band that consisted of a mandolin, accordion, and cello, and her songs were some sort of concept piece on different insects. Oh, and she's an indie lesbian folk singer. And she has almost no charisma on stage. And despite all of this, she is still somehow not to be missed.

Umm, bad idea...

I guess what I'm trying to say is: please don't vote for this man.

new things

with the new year, so many things are new for me:

• new school
• new job (technically, i'll be doing the same job, just being paid by someone else. and by someone else, i mean you. )
• new phone, which is like The Most Fun New Toy i've had since barbie had relevance. i am aware that it's no iPhone, but it's so light years ahead of what i had that it makes me swoon.

ok, so i guess that's only three things. i also want a new bike, or really any bike. so maybe my list will grow.

i endured much stress and angst since september '04 to get to these new things-- not the phone, but the school & work-- and am so relieved to finally have conquered the prereqs for my good life. i know, it's not that simple, but still: ahhhhh....

There is hope for the youth of today!

I love it!

reminds me of my favorite poem by Shell Silverstein (when I was 8...I remember it as being much better)

SICK
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteeen chicken pox
And there's one more—that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue—
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke—
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is—what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

ask your doctor if kickbacks are right for you

"...[P]harmaceutical companies spend almost twice as much on promotion as they do on R&D."

According to this new study, drug companies spend (per year):

$31.5 billion on research

$57.5 billion on marketing

(in addition to consumer ads, that's an average of $61,000 per physician on marketing).

If reading studies is not your thing, consumerist.com gives a good digest here.

not our cup o' tea

so we were backed into a holiday party at a country club in the snootiest area of this very-snooty-to-begin-with city.

p decided to wear his chuck taylors in passive aggressive protest to having our saturday night hijacked. otherwise, he was nicely attired in dress pants and a dress shirt.

at the coat check, he had a funny exchange with the coat check lady:

ccl: do you need a jacket, sir?

p: no, thanks.

ccl: sir, do you need a jacket?

p: if it's up to me, no. are you telling me i need a jacket?

ccl: we have some here, if you need one, sir.

p: are you telling me i need a jacket?

s: i think by asking you, she's telling you you need a jacket.

p: really? is that right?

ccl: yes, sir.

he found this hilarious and hard to believe. he acted as though a practical joke was being played on him. he accepted the coat forced upon him, ditching it ten steps later on a chair on our way to the group. i came to find out that he had been given advance notice of the dress code, which he thought was just someone trying to be funny. he was surprised when he surveyed the other party goers that he was the only one who interpreted the dress code as a joke.

maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty funny. p tends to be on his best behavior at the oddest occasions, (like the first time he met my dad's best friend, he was so polite his voice was inaudible), but tends towards loud, mocking and insubordinate when, for example, invited to the big boss's country club. i think it shows an admirable hierarchy of respect.

wacko

in 1992, mike huckabee proposed quarantining AIDS patients like was done in the past for TB.

his quotes were in response to an AP questionnaire. He was in the Senate at the time.

"If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague."
"It is difficult to understand the public policy towards AIDS. It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population, and in which this deadly disease for which there is no cure is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents."

"I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk."

What's that song that goes like...?

This is AMAZING...except that my microphone is too complicated to set up at the moment and I haven't actually tried it. Maybe you should.
Go to Midomi.com, hum a tune, and it will tell you what you are humming.

This is more than a fun gimmick. For example, one time a couple of years ago, I woke up abruptly from a dream with an incredible melody in my head. I hummed it all day so as not to forget it, concluding that in my sleep I had composed a beautiful song that needed to be remembered and eventually recorded, as an artifact of my genius. Well, I kept humming it until later in the day when I realized it was the melody to "Morning has broken" by Cat Stevens (a song that doesn't even rank among my favorite Cat Stevens songs, incidentally). I was totally bummed.
And, to be honest, this sort of thing happens to me often. So I'm psyched to have a way to check.

motherfuckingcocksucker

AAARGH! i am about to raise high hell. my school's registrar's office just sent me a letter saying that i'm NOT graduating because....well, they don't say why. of course. this is because, in a nutshell, the university of the district of columbia fucking sucks.

i am posting this because i googled "udc fucking sucks" and got no hits, to my severe surprise.

i have received approximately 17,000 verbal confirmations that i met all requirements to graduate, but the letter that i just received today, and should have received a month ago, is what counts.

holidays and wars on concepts

so my beloved subscription to the daily candy lead me to the discovery of these enchanting xmas cards:


which lead me to more anti-xmas propaganda searches, which brought me to "the war on christmas" controversy, and eventually to wikipedia's list of wars on concepts, which to my dismay is very random and generally anemic. i mean, we haven't even declared war on crime yet. i wonder which pro-crime lobbying firm has our government on its dole.

Shades of Blue...Laws

I thoroughly enjoyed Slate Magazine's installment article, American Lawbreaking. There are the legislative, judicial, and executive branches of government, with their near-perfect symbiosis of checks and balances, but actual policy all hinges on enforcement. Enforcement is what plugs our society's daily operations into its rules, or lets things run afoul of the law, in plain view. Usually because the laws are stupid, and everyone knows it.

Slate chose five great examples (and one boring one...who can stomach patent law, anyway?), to illustrate the significance of laws we as a society don't have the will or resources to enforce.

For example,

-Do we really want another comprehensive reform of immigration, when current permissiveness already violates existing laws but is in the economic best interest of most affected parties?

-Big pharma saves us from the war on drugs?

-And finally, all pornography is illegal, in case anyone cares.

the tall one is bugging me

i am trying to compose an intelligent post, but the larger being in my living room is insisting i help him brainstorm ideas for an ebay business. no, really.
so, i will return to him what my public (both of you) come up with.

s

Home Inspection Nightmares

Most of my afternoon has been consumed by these home inspection nightmares photo galleries.
My own home inspection was tons of fun. We found several easily fixable risky situations, like an uncovered ceiling light bulb right above where a door swung when opening. It had burned a pretty big spot out of the top of the door. Some things, like the fact that one window pane pops right out when you open the window, weren't discovered until after we had moved in. I've become pretty interested in figuring out the mysterious workings of drains, ducts, and other housing infrastructure that continues to bewilder me.

There are many creative entries, such as car radiators converted into floor heaters, and foundations that rely on ceramic dogs or jacks for cars. I liked this one because it comes from my hometown:
This receptacle was mounted to a steel support post in the basement of the home I inspected. We have a saying we like to use: "Everyone in Michigan is an electrician; they're just not all licensed electricians."
(Bob Bowling LandAmerica Property Inspections Plymouth, Mich.)

society of friends

religion, spirituality, and other sorts of mysticism are, for better or for worse, pretty much lost on me. i just don't buy it. i had a brief pre-adolescent affair with the christian pentecostal denomination, but it was one of those infatuations where beyond three months one either loses themselves or loses the shtick. I lost the latter, along with a bit of dignity and any lingering curiosity.
i also have an unfounded, vague, pop-psychology-type belief that because nothing non-empirically-based was drilled into my belief structure as a child, my worldview is now somehow hardwired to exclude anything that transcends the physical world. i'm even a bit suspicious of electricity, as i never really bothered to learn its ins and outs and basically take its omnipotence in my life on faith.
with that said, i'm still kind of angling to join the religious society of friends (quakers). wiki claims that a person can be one and be an agnostic or atheist, but i'm afraid they're damn liars. the meetings in my area pretty clearly cite jesus of nazareth as the source of the core "inner light" belief that i was hoping to interpret as my faith in my own brilliance. and, it would be a pain to have to go to meetings, even the awesome-sounding unstructured and totally egalitarian ones.
anyway, while i'm deciding, i thought it couldn't hurt to prostheletize a bit. look at how great these tennents are:

Helping others who are in need in whatever ways are open to us.
Supporting causes consistent with Quaker values.
Making economic choices that contribute to the fair sharing of world resources.
Questioning the myths and generalities often used to justify deprivation, punishment, and other human misery.
Avoiding support of war or the seeds of war.
Speaking truth to power, even when truth may not be welcome.
Embracing a style of life that promotes a healthy planet—supporting environmentally sound behavior.
Participating positively in public affairs.
Choosing to affirm in legal proceedings, rather than to swear an oath, which implies part-time truth telling.

13lb. Gummy Bear

This is just a note to remind myself come May of what I am making for my darling husband for his birthday this year. It looks dangerous, but one only lives once.

new discovery

I just found a great listing of chords to tons of folk-ish songs here. I have been carrying on about leaving on a jet plane, teaching your children well, and ain't got (having?) money all evening, to my heart's delight. Yes, the downstairs neighbors have turned up their horrendous Spanish-language soft rock, but I kind of take that as a compliment.
It's an impressive stock of some fiercely cheesy songs that are as fun to sing as they are comforting in that false-nostalgic sort of way. And the level is a good fit for unsatisfactory-to-fair guitar players such as myself.
It of course does not rival my dear departed OLGA, which has still yet to be matched.
I just wish I knew the tune of the verse to the song about not giving a damn about no greenback-a-dollar-- it would really complete the experience.

being married

Having beer at home on Tuesdays and
Weekend mornings finding the ski ball in the mall arcade feels like playing hooky from church
On the couch with my book in condo canyon lying next to you
I used to chase cities and vodka and serendipity
I found you and exactly this
Us as a working machine taking care of morning coffee and small bricks to build our lifetime
If I am trapped, it is by happiness, not inertia

look at the time fly

well, i started this blog right before last semester started, and then got right to neglecting to update it.
here's another semester starting, one of three left. this college stuff is the worst. (and the best...)
one day i will be free, and when i am, watch out. i mean it.
love
s

longing for lawn darts

this is a wonderful compilation.

oh i wonder

so p and i officially love stained grass bluegrass. i think. we've listened to it almost every sunday for maybe two or three months. at first, we sort of made fun of it. not that it was bad, but it was just so easy to mock; twangy accents, people using the word "ain't", and no one taking themselves seriously. well, now when we get up on sunday morning, we turn it on and just listen. i've always loved the sound of a banjo, but never thought i'd develop such an appreciation for the fiddle. i still don't know the first thing about bluegrass, but i have decided i like it.

hooray for late-onset virginia roots.

finals are almost over

uugghh. finals are almost over, and I am so beyond tired. i have to say, though, that today's final was the best one in my scholastic history. here's how it went:
teacher comes in.
teacher says, "shannon, you're here!"
i said, "yes, don't i have to be here?"
teacher says, "no. you don't have to take the final, and you will get an "a" in the class."
i gathered my stuff and sped home, singing.
turns out that she decided to drop the lowest exam for each student. i already had aced the first three, so i was in the clear and didn't know it. hooray for accounting 1.
now, it's time to begin thinking about planning to dread christmas shopping. 'tis the season.

movies

so many things right now could really change, but i'm worried they won't.
too, too much to begin to write about. so instead, i reccommend two movies in order to change the subject: lord of war, and borat.

oh my xenu

beck is a scientologist. dammit, i used to really like him.

borat borat

i know it's awful, but i am so excited for this movie to come out. for make benefit me.

"i think this will be the single greatest windfall of pennies i ever get." -p

so p & i drove out to his friend's rental house to assess the damage cause by the most recent renters as the friend has now moved across the country. what a sorry mess-- the renters left all but their bedsheets, from what i could see. An entire life's worth of stuff. i guess the woman and her two children just picked up and went to live with her sister, so they didn't bring any of their furnishings with them. it looks like the guy may still be squatting there.
these people are the working poor, and it's astonishing to realize that they were making $2000 per month rent payments before they fell behind. that's really not so poor at all. the only places around here that are cheaper are in the most ghetto school systems in (maybe) the country. i hope that they were able to move down to north carolina or something.
the friend who owns the house asked us to take whatever we wanted and as much as we could, 'cause he's going to have to fly up and get a dumpster or something for the rest. p made out with a big 2 quart container of pennies, to his delight. he is rolling them now, and is really excited, but we are both kind of sad for those people.

i hate the drug companies, even if it is not their fault.
i hate personal responsibility, as a shield, most especially when there is nothing i can do
i hate hate that i am not keeper of this universe, because i do care enough to fix it, or try
and someone should try
hate that i am not even keeper of those very few people that i love
not even keeper, if i could just keep them from pain and doom
i would dissolve into neuroinhibitors
and fuck up some proteins
or something

today i worked, worked worked. and then for lunch i dieted. i must say, though, that i am growing more fond of and more proud of my work, and the diet has me shrinking at a satisfactory pace.
it's straightforward and rewarding to set goals and keep the nose to the grindstone, but it's damn terrifying to have those "life is what happens while you're busy making plans" cliche's lurking among morning commute bumper stickers.

happy list

-The Squid and the Whale, and my new fondness for jeff daniels
- timmothy hutton and his fabulous get-ups on a&e's nero wolfe series
- seriously digging finance & fiscal policy, especially today's lively debate with enlightened enlisted classmate in full fatigues. we didn't agree on much, but i very much appreciate his point of view.
- i'm doing a damn good cover of "wish you were here"
- renaissance fair here is awesome and i'm not ashamed to love it. have flowery hair garland, ate soup in a bread bowl, blackberry cobbler, and pub sing.
- 5 months after moving, we are now all the way unpacked.
- (on behalf of the kittens) organic catnip

first day of school

new classes started today, and i'm tired. on mondays and wednesdays it's international finance and business finance. although they sound similar, international seems like it will be a lot of fun, whereas business will be a soulsucking experience.
for economical and bmi reasons, i have resolved not to eat dinner at schlotzsky's every night before class. (this is extremely difficult, because their "original" is the best sandwich on earth and it's two doors down from the econ building.) so james and i went to the grocery store instead of out to lunch today during work to stock up on healthy snacks like popcorn. unfortunately, popcorn is highly flammable, i guess especially the way i microwave it, because the first bag i attempted to cook (at work, in the 18th floor kitchen) not only burned, but actually ignited. and billowed smoke. i was really worried that i was going to be the next secretly-hated jackass to send everyone on all 19 floors down the stairwells on foot by setting off the fire alarm. And at the height of my dousing the popcorn bag in the break room sink while it popped and sizzled and smoked, i caught james running by and pointing. he ratted me out to all who could smell it as fast as he could.
and yeah, i'm still waiting on that promotion...

kitten mind control

so in addition to our two adorably wonderfull kittens, we're also boarding my sister's old, fat tatter-eared cat named fred. what fred lacks in cuteness he makes up for in sociability, and I've actually grown pretty fond of him. my kittens are not anti-social, but they are more interested in me entertaining and doting on them, whereas fred just straight up adores me. he breaks out into purrs if i just look at him.

i've been employing every cat behavior modification tactic at my disposal to try to get at least one of the kittens to idolize me like fred does, and i've reached an impasse. sometimes they will get it into their little heads that i am thisclose to giving them a treat, and although it holds their attention, it's obviously not the love i am going for.

i guess my point is that i would be pretty psyched if a kitten mind control device were to come to market.

a quick google search revealed to me that, according to one media analyst, this interest puts me in high-powered canadian company.

coincidence

few things swirling through my mind today, the most interesting having to do with my mind itself. on sunday night i heard a great program about how we interpret coincidence. it reaffirmed for me how nice and bland i could continue to have it as an empiricist (a belief i wouldn't defend it in an argument, but must cop to in the interest of full disclosure).
more importantly,
it reminded me that i don't have to have it just that way. i can't muster any genuine belief in spirits, holy or otherwise, but the psychiatrist guest (of all people!) reminded me that the very fact that a "miracle" is really just any old accident proves that immense meaning is mine to wield; not intrinsic to any phenomenon. and so i am grateful to my own mind for its ability to epiphanise, giving me full power to beware and be under the spell of the notion that chance favors the prepared mind.
now on to my preparations...