i hate the drug companies, even if it is not their fault.
i hate personal responsibility, as a shield, most especially when there is nothing i can do
i hate hate that i am not keeper of this universe, because i do care enough to fix it, or try
and someone should try
hate that i am not even keeper of those very few people that i love
not even keeper, if i could just keep them from pain and doom
i would dissolve into neuroinhibitors
and fuck up some proteins
or something

today i worked, worked worked. and then for lunch i dieted. i must say, though, that i am growing more fond of and more proud of my work, and the diet has me shrinking at a satisfactory pace.
it's straightforward and rewarding to set goals and keep the nose to the grindstone, but it's damn terrifying to have those "life is what happens while you're busy making plans" cliche's lurking among morning commute bumper stickers.

happy list

-The Squid and the Whale, and my new fondness for jeff daniels
- timmothy hutton and his fabulous get-ups on a&e's nero wolfe series
- seriously digging finance & fiscal policy, especially today's lively debate with enlightened enlisted classmate in full fatigues. we didn't agree on much, but i very much appreciate his point of view.
- i'm doing a damn good cover of "wish you were here"
- renaissance fair here is awesome and i'm not ashamed to love it. have flowery hair garland, ate soup in a bread bowl, blackberry cobbler, and pub sing.
- 5 months after moving, we are now all the way unpacked.
- (on behalf of the kittens) organic catnip